It's (almost) the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Alright. I'm over fall. I'm ready for Christmas. My mums died about 2 weeks ago and my cute pot-sticker scarecrow has fallen out of said-dead-mums about 37 times (in the Noreaster that almost made me go get one of those sunlight lamps so I wouldn't sink into a black hole inside my house). So I'm ready for Christmas music (which I usually start listening to around Halloween so I'm waaay behind by my own standards), apple cider and finding glitter in very strage places around my house.

My mom, aunts Pam and Tricia, Mema Nancy and I all went on our annual shopping trip this past weekend. (Crystal couldn't come and it totally wasn't the same without her but we still had a blast...) We left at 8 in the morning on Friday and pulled back in the driveway at 11:10pm Saturday night. We allowed about 7 hours for sleep somewhere in the middle and showed no mercy on any sale we could find. We went to Crabtree Valley Mall in Raleigh, this cute little shopping center called Briar Creek Commons (or something like that) and then Cary Towne Center and finally CLOSED DOWN Target. We. Don't. Play. I got 10 people's gifts completely finished. Done. I feel like superwoman!

So anyway, I had planned on putting my tree up BEFORE we left (Don't judge me. Mema Nancy had hers up 2 weeks ago...) but it just didn't happen. I wanted to do it while I was off on Veteran's day but all I got done was pulling all the decorations down from the attic. Bummer. Every night since then I've planned on getting SOMETHING decorated but it just hasn't happened. I'm determined that glitter will fall tonight...even if it's just unrolling the garland or soemthing arbitrary like that. (Not that garland is arbitrary but it doesn't exactly equal the tree or the village in splendor, now does it?)

To some I may be rushing the season but I'm in the spirit already and am definitely ready to replace leaves rustling with sleigh bells.

**side note: Mom and Dad tried to teach Abby to sing Jingle Bells yesterday. Last night she was walking around the house singing "Tinkerbell, Tinkerbell, Tinker awww da way...." Yep. It's official. Cutest. Kid. Ever.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

Abigail,

It's a little after 11:00pm and the house is a wreck. We had about 40 of our family and closest friends over at our house to celebrate your 2nd birthday. You birthday was actually Friday but we decided to make a weekend of it and celebrate your big day on Sunday so everyone could come. You were an angel. You wore a shirt (that was a 2T and WAAAY too big) that said "Birthday Princess" and that's exactly what you were. We had a ladybug birthday cake from your GiGi (Mommy's Mema Nancy) and biiiigg princess balloons and lots of chips and dip because they're your favorites. You opened presents for almost an hour and squealed as loud for clothes and books as you did for big, loud toys. You are such a good girl.

The past 2 years have been the absolute best of my life. And that's really saying something because I didn't think ANYTHING could be better than marrying your Daddy! You have completely surpassed any expectation I ever had of being a Mommy. I always wanted a daughter....I just never knew I wanted her to be YOU. I loved you from the moment I found out you were on the way. I loved you when you were born and the first time I laid my eyes on you I knew I had never loved anything more. Then we brought you home. And I started falling in love with you over and over every day. I love you because you are mine...but I also love you because you are YOU.

Just so time doesn't get away from us and make us forget, let me tell you a little bit about you.
You are very petite (like your Daddy's family) and even though you are officially 24 months old you still wear 18 month clothes. You wear a size 6 shoe and have THE cutest toes (and you know I don't like feet...) You like Ladybugs and anything with the Disney Princesses on it (especially Belle) and your all-time-favorite-show is this crazy one called Yo Gabba Gabba (which Mommy and Daddy tolerate only because you are completely enthralled). You are becoming more of a picky eater but we can almost always get you to eat chicken, french fries and macaroni and cheese. Your faaaavorite foods are corn and, believe it or not, PICKLES!!! Seriously, you eat Mt. Olive hamburger dill chips like they're going out of style! You also love cheetos and are a professional Oreo-cream-scraper-outter. You wear size 4 diapers and are 25 pounds. You normally go to bed around 9 or 9:30 and Mommy and Daddy both tuck you in and read a bible story, say our prayers then get a "butterfly kiss, eskimo kiss and a big ole' kiss." You can say anything you want and are speaking in full, complete sentences. You crack us up all the time. You are a very good girl but have been getting in trouble lately for telling mommy and daddy "Stop it" or "No" when we tell you to do something you don't want to do. You have even put yourself in time out (which makes us laugh but we don't let you see.) You also have the sweetest spirit and have started praying for us without us asking you to. I couldn't love you any more.

You have brought more joy into my life than I thought I would know and I thank the Lord everyday for allowing me this life. I am so humbled at the opportunity to be your mom. I pray I prove to be worthy of such an awesome blessing.

Be well this year my angel and know that your Mom absolutely adores you.
Love,
Mommy

Rebellion

I've never been a rebel. Even a little bit. I mean, okay I do go like, 6 over the speed limit. And I do put on my makeup when I drive. And I do sometimes text and drive...

Okay so scratch the I've never been a rebel. I'm totally a rebellious driver, I'm just not rebellious in life. But right this minute I'm as bad as any angst-filled teen ever was because I cannot even begin to express how much work I need to do and I just am NOT. DOING. IT. (right now.) It is hanging over my head like a dark cloud and I'm just dreading it and mad that I have to do it in the first place so I'm just choosing to procrastinate a little more. So THERE. (I am doing my job...but we have to "bill" or do a data entry into this online program for EVERY service for EVERY child we see. That means I have to enter EVERYTHING I have written in my therapy logs for every child. For this year so far. By Monday. Ughhh Even typing it leaves a bad taste in my mouth...)

So I was also rebellious this weekend. (Okay. Maybe the opening sentence should be tweaked...) Not really rebellious. It came from a good place. Here's what happened:

I was raised in a very conservative Christian, yet not necessarily doctrinal home. I mean, we believe that Jesus is the son of God and that the bible is the word of God and that HE is THE only way to heaven or to the Father. But as far as denominational doctrines go we aren't really bound by any because our church is non-denominational. Does that even make sense? At any rate if there is one thing that my parents were MORE conservative or even dogmatic about it was Halloween. WE. DO. NOT. CELEBRATE. HALLOWEEN. At all. We don't trick or treat, we don't dress up...we barely even say the word. Because the Bible tells us to abstain from even the "appearance of evil" and a complete day dedicated to fear could not be anymore blasphemous to me. Nothing could shun the glory of God any more. So we have a "Halloween alternative" at our church. We call it Fall Festival. There's candy and hayrides and carnival-type games but nothing scary or "Halloween-y." (We don't even bob for apples because my grandmother read somewhere that bobbing for apples was a pagan practice. True Story.)

Okay so the big debate is To Dress Up or Not To Dress Up? We don't turn people away for having costumes as long as they're not "scary" but we don't advertise that you SHOULD wear a costume. So everyone's been asking what Abby would be for Halloween /Fall Festival. Well, my take is that if you dress up you might as well go trick or treating and do the whole thing because you're totally participating in the "traditional holiday" festivities. BUT I knew there would be several people at church who DID dress their children up and I was so afraid for them to ask me "Why isn't Abby dressed up?" Because the LAST thing I want is to condemn other people who don't share the same views or convictions as me and say "Well, I believe if you dress up you're participating...." You see? So I thought and prayed long and hard about it. And I think it's better to give grace even when others don't know you're giving it. So I let Abby dress up. I mean, she already had the ruby slippers...so my gorgeous girl was Dorothy. (I'll post a picture soon, I promise.)

I think this will be her last year dressing up (although there is talk of a BIBLICAL costume contest next year...but that's another ball of wax in itself...) because the internal war is so much harder than just letting her wear a cute shirt and jeans...which she would probably prefer so she can get as filthy as possible. But for this year Mommy was a rebel....but the good kind. Because I did it hoping other people would feel more comfortable. And loved and included. And I think the Lord would approve of that. Because that's the REAL me. Behind the mask.

Fa la la la FALL

Oh how I love this time of year. I have been looking forward to it since, well, last year about this time. I just love how when you're just totally sick of summer there will be this one cool night towards the end of September that will remind you that fall really is coming again. We are into the cool-ish days and definitely cool nights and I. LOVE. IT. I love jeans and boots and hoodie sweatshirts and decorating my house with pretty mums and pumpkins. I love the pumpkin dip I can't get enough of and just that "crisp" feeling in the air. Weird, I know.

I am totally a Christmas junkie and the thought of decorating my house for Christmas makes me so happy...but for now, I'm going to pretend like Christmas isn't sneaking up on us waiting to take all the glory for this wonderful feeling I have. Because somewhere in the world someone just ordered a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks...and I swear the angels sang. Maybe just a little....

Happy Fall Y'All!

Ummm..yeah

So here's the thing. I love to blog. No, seriously. I really do. In fact, almost every day of the last couple of weeks I've thought about "hopping on here" and saying something...ANYTHING. But then I start to freak a little and think that there's really nothing to say. I mean, nothing anyone would care to read anyway. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who remembers that I used to write here so I'm going to have to remind everybody to come look for me every so often. Aaaaand now I'm depressed.

See what I mean? I feel defeated even before I try. Story of my life. I HATE that I feel that way about myself. I mean, seriously, I can cheer on ANYBODY but when it comes to ME I so often have a "Why bother" attitude. WHY? Ughh...self searching. And as I always say..."That's awholenother Oprah show! (yeah, that doesn't sound right if you say it all stuffy and...well, correct. If you say "That's another whole Oprah show" it sounds too fussy. Saying "That's another Oprah Show doesn't quite grasp the importance or depth of the situation. A-whole-nother fits just right...don't ya think?)

So last weekend was just about perfect. Busy but sooooo fun. We had our 10 year class reunion!! We have been planning since MAY. We worked really hard, but lemme tell ya.....that was some fun work. I swear every time the committee got together I laughed until I cried. No joke.
It was: me,
Lindsay (my bestie),
Brooke (my old bestie who is back again...soo happy!),
Amy Autry Jackson (who sat beside be on every single stinkin Marching Band bus e-v-e-r for 4 years and was my band partner-in-crime),
Matt Raymes (known him since BIRTH...no joke),
Jeremy Autry (who was the hottie in high school. Still is. I like him so much more now than I did then...I think 'cause I was completely intimidated by him...),
Jessica Peterson Teague(homeroom/band buddy)
and Brian Fulcher (wild, crazy party boy. And that's just now...he was a professional back in high school...)
So fun. Anyway, we weren't quite sure how it all would go but honestly it went so so great. So much better than I thought. We went to the homecoming game Friday night, played at a park for a small cookout with everybody's kids on Saturday morning and then the dinner on Saturday night wehre we had about 60 people to come. Maybe 35 or 40 of those were alumni. It's such a trip to see people after all these years. Some people looked exactly the same. Some people looked a lot better (helllloooo new boobs!). Some people I had totally forgotten about but am so happy to have reconnected with. James even had a blast. In fact, at one point, Mr. Southview himself said, "Gosh, I wish I had gone to Cape Fear!" That's right, baby. Welcome to God's country.... (pictures to come soon. I hope.)

Also in the past few weeks we have hung out with a big group of friends that I have come to love so dearly. It's us and 3 other couples (4 if you count Kramer and Crystal) and we just have the best time together. So thankful for all of them and for the Lord giving us an outlet through them. They are all friends from church but are also "real people" who we can be our regular not-always-Sunday-morning-best-selves with. I hate even saying that because who we are on Sunday mornings IS who we are...but you know what I mean. People we can let down with and who don't expect us to have it all together all the time. People we're allowed to be real with and love the Lord together. It's very nice. We are all anxiously awaiting Baby Wellons to come (any day now!!!) so that we will FINALLY know whether to buy everything pink and monogrammed or everything red, black and cammo. :)

So...ummm..yeah. That's all for now. I realize it's a lot of nothing...but I guess even just contentedness is something to talk about. :)

p.s. I can't even talk about the fact that my baby will be 2 in a few weeks. Nope. Not even gonna mention it. Sniff.

Catch-up

One of my favorite movies is You've Got Mail. Love it. There's this one part where Kate (Meg Ryan) is writing an email to her mystery pen-pal (Tom Hanks) and it says "I like to start my letters to you as if we're already in the middle of a conversation...." Or something like that. That's how I'm going to start this post. As if there hasn't been a 2 month lapse in my blogging. As if this hasn't been a whirl-wind of a life lately.

So we moved into our house July 3. Finally. Thank God. We are somewhat settled. There are still blank walls and empty nooks where pictures and furniture will one day be but we are home. I think we will be very happy on Bent Grass Drive. And even if we're not we're not moving again. I'll torch everything first. Okay I shouldn't say that. Let's just say we don't want to move for a long long long time.

My sweet baby girl is not a baby anymore. She can count to 10 and (pretty much) say her ABC's at 21 months old. I am more in love with her than I ever thought I would be. She just leaves me breathless. Truly.

We are planning our 10 year reunion. We are grown ups now. Weird.

James has started a new career. As of September 1 he will be an Insurance Agent for Farm Bureau Insurance. He is excited and is already doing great. He is unbelievable. I don't think he knows how to fail. I am very blessed.

This summer has held many hospital visits, some happy (Welcome sweet Baby Kanen!) some scary/tiring (Mema Nancy AND Papa Landon spent about 3 weeks in the hospital each. yikes.) It has held many laughs and of course some tears (I mean, c'mon, it's still me here) but mostly blessings.

The thing I want to write so badly about are the precious girls from Stella's house in Moldova that we had the opportunity to spend the weekend with last weekend but I have neither the time nor the strength to get into it right now. More soon, I promise.

Hope everyone had a great summer. Sad to see it go. Back to work this week. ughhh. But I'm back at Laurel Hill and working with my sweet Cindy, so how bad can it be?

Okay. I think I remember how to do this now.... be back soon.

Regardless....

I haven't forgotten I have a blog. I swear. And pleading busy-ness just won't cut it. So suffice it to say I have really missed being here and I'm back now.

We are counting down the days and hours until we can move into our new house. We are supposed to close June 30 (4 days from now!!!!). When we sign the dotted line I'm quite certain there will be a collective sigh of relief in the heavenlies. I'm sure God is sick of hearing about this house situation. Since the day we put our condo on the market it seems as if it's been one obstacle after another. From low-ball appraisals, moved closing dates, a seemingly never ending parade of "not the one" houses, etc. we have been more than sick of this. James has said about a thousand times that this has been the most horrible experience of his adult life. And I concur. (right, Meliss?)

So even today, 4 days out, we are still getting (bad) news and having minor setbacks that make me so mad I won't even go into it here but just know it's really really annoying stuff. James got to the place today (a place we've been several times on this journey) where he said, "Is this a sign? Is this not our house?" To which I immediately said "I DON'T CARE! WE'RE MOVING IN REGARDLESS AND GOD WILL JUST HAVE TO BLESS OUR EFFORTS." And yes, I said it in all caps for sure. I don't know if we can take every tiny situation and think it's a sign or a "wink" from God but we've had both positive and negative ones in this experience so I honestly don't know for sure. But I know that the Lord will bless our faithfulness with our finances and as long as we seek him first, all of the other things will be "added unto us."

While bad news seems like the end of the world, and trust me, we've had a friggin buffet of it lately...it's really not. Because at the end of the day we have each other and our sweet baby girl and the Lord has us engraved on the palm of his hand. He knows right where we are and what we face.

This morning we had to do something very difficult. One of James' closest friends is his high school band director, Jay Bolder, and this morning we had to sing at his wife's funeral. Jay asked James to speak and I was so proud of him. She lost a very hard battle to pancreatic cancer but never lost her faith or the spark that she carried.

Yes, Lord. You know right where we are and whether it's yet another set back or a bad diagnosis or even a loved one called home, we will serve you....Regardless.

Saved By The Bell Reunion Update 3 (6/8/09)

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Down to the wire

Official School Countdown:
5 days!!!


Official House Countdown:
25 days!!!

...but who's counting?

(Insert Happy Dance HERE!)

Needing it!

My sweet, secret best friend, Beth Moore gave us an acrostic to help us choose and memorize our scriptures for the Memory Verse challenge. It is to RENEW our mind.

R- Read it! (over and over and over until the words start to come from memory)

E-Examine it! (look for ways that make it easier to memorize.)

N-Need it! (This is the biggie. If you don't NEED a verse you're less likely to memorize it.)

E-Echo it! (Say it over and over and over)

W-Wield it! (Use it as the weapon that it is against the fiery darts of the enemy!)

So my verse for this time is one that I NEED!!!

I am so sarcastic. It's bad. Sometimes it's funny but other times it is just mean. And honest to goodness most of the time I don't mean to be mean! It usually comes out before I can put a filter or a hand over my mouth. It's usually just in time to insert my FOOT in my mouth or get a sideways look from James or my Mom that plainly says "I CANNOT believe you just said that!!" Sometimes I can't for the life of me figure out why they think what I said was mean and not funny, which is almost 100% of the time how I mean for it to be interpreted. But more than once, okay, a lot of the time, I end up saying something pretty harsh or making someone feel stupid. Which is NOT what I want to do. I really want to build others up. Especially with that whole "golden rule" concept looming over us and coupling with my own insecurites. I've seen that shirt that says "Sarcasm: Just one of the services I offer"...which is funny and definitely true of me. But I don't want it to be. Now, keep in mind, I don't want to change my personality. I just want to be able to filter my words and as my sweet friend/boss Cindy says all the time "season my words with salt." So I found this verse and am committing it to memory and to my heart as a reminder of what the Lord has commanded us to do. I looked it up in several translations and liked The Message best (I LOOOVE the Message bible. Some people have different opinions about it but I do believe even though it's an "interpretation" and not an exact word for word "translation" that it IS the Word of God. That's just my two cents.)

So here it is:
1 Peter 3:9 MSG
"Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless- that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing. "

I'm stopping there but I also love the rest of the passage (to verse 12). It is:
"Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here's what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful; Snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you're worth. God looks on all this with approval, listening and responding well to what he's asked; But he turns his back on those who do evil things. "

So here we go, Lord. Help me to remember this verse and call it up when I want to throw a "zinger."

But Lord, please, let me be funny sometimes! =)