Regardless....

I haven't forgotten I have a blog. I swear. And pleading busy-ness just won't cut it. So suffice it to say I have really missed being here and I'm back now.

We are counting down the days and hours until we can move into our new house. We are supposed to close June 30 (4 days from now!!!!). When we sign the dotted line I'm quite certain there will be a collective sigh of relief in the heavenlies. I'm sure God is sick of hearing about this house situation. Since the day we put our condo on the market it seems as if it's been one obstacle after another. From low-ball appraisals, moved closing dates, a seemingly never ending parade of "not the one" houses, etc. we have been more than sick of this. James has said about a thousand times that this has been the most horrible experience of his adult life. And I concur. (right, Meliss?)

So even today, 4 days out, we are still getting (bad) news and having minor setbacks that make me so mad I won't even go into it here but just know it's really really annoying stuff. James got to the place today (a place we've been several times on this journey) where he said, "Is this a sign? Is this not our house?" To which I immediately said "I DON'T CARE! WE'RE MOVING IN REGARDLESS AND GOD WILL JUST HAVE TO BLESS OUR EFFORTS." And yes, I said it in all caps for sure. I don't know if we can take every tiny situation and think it's a sign or a "wink" from God but we've had both positive and negative ones in this experience so I honestly don't know for sure. But I know that the Lord will bless our faithfulness with our finances and as long as we seek him first, all of the other things will be "added unto us."

While bad news seems like the end of the world, and trust me, we've had a friggin buffet of it lately...it's really not. Because at the end of the day we have each other and our sweet baby girl and the Lord has us engraved on the palm of his hand. He knows right where we are and what we face.

This morning we had to do something very difficult. One of James' closest friends is his high school band director, Jay Bolder, and this morning we had to sing at his wife's funeral. Jay asked James to speak and I was so proud of him. She lost a very hard battle to pancreatic cancer but never lost her faith or the spark that she carried.

Yes, Lord. You know right where we are and whether it's yet another set back or a bad diagnosis or even a loved one called home, we will serve you....Regardless.

Saved By The Bell Reunion Update 3 (6/8/09)

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Down to the wire

Official School Countdown:
5 days!!!


Official House Countdown:
25 days!!!

...but who's counting?

(Insert Happy Dance HERE!)

Needing it!

My sweet, secret best friend, Beth Moore gave us an acrostic to help us choose and memorize our scriptures for the Memory Verse challenge. It is to RENEW our mind.

R- Read it! (over and over and over until the words start to come from memory)

E-Examine it! (look for ways that make it easier to memorize.)

N-Need it! (This is the biggie. If you don't NEED a verse you're less likely to memorize it.)

E-Echo it! (Say it over and over and over)

W-Wield it! (Use it as the weapon that it is against the fiery darts of the enemy!)

So my verse for this time is one that I NEED!!!

I am so sarcastic. It's bad. Sometimes it's funny but other times it is just mean. And honest to goodness most of the time I don't mean to be mean! It usually comes out before I can put a filter or a hand over my mouth. It's usually just in time to insert my FOOT in my mouth or get a sideways look from James or my Mom that plainly says "I CANNOT believe you just said that!!" Sometimes I can't for the life of me figure out why they think what I said was mean and not funny, which is almost 100% of the time how I mean for it to be interpreted. But more than once, okay, a lot of the time, I end up saying something pretty harsh or making someone feel stupid. Which is NOT what I want to do. I really want to build others up. Especially with that whole "golden rule" concept looming over us and coupling with my own insecurites. I've seen that shirt that says "Sarcasm: Just one of the services I offer"...which is funny and definitely true of me. But I don't want it to be. Now, keep in mind, I don't want to change my personality. I just want to be able to filter my words and as my sweet friend/boss Cindy says all the time "season my words with salt." So I found this verse and am committing it to memory and to my heart as a reminder of what the Lord has commanded us to do. I looked it up in several translations and liked The Message best (I LOOOVE the Message bible. Some people have different opinions about it but I do believe even though it's an "interpretation" and not an exact word for word "translation" that it IS the Word of God. That's just my two cents.)

So here it is:
1 Peter 3:9 MSG
"Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless- that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing. "

I'm stopping there but I also love the rest of the passage (to verse 12). It is:
"Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here's what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful; Snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you're worth. God looks on all this with approval, listening and responding well to what he's asked; But he turns his back on those who do evil things. "

So here we go, Lord. Help me to remember this verse and call it up when I want to throw a "zinger."

But Lord, please, let me be funny sometimes! =)

Happy Anniversary!

Four years ago today I married the man of my dreams.

Seriously.

James was the first boy I ever had a crush on. He still is.

I love you so much honey. Can't wait for the next 100 years!

Happy Anniversary!

A picture from our first anniversary (we bought each other the same card. How cute are we?)

Easter 2009

Quoteable Quotes

I read this quote today from one of the comments on the Living Proof blog. I LOVE it.

It said:

Prayer is asking for rain.
Faith is bringing the umbrella.

LOVE that!

I have about a kazillion quotes in a pretty notebook my mom gave me in HIGH SCHOOL. I have added to it all this time. It's got pressed roses, scribbles, notes, slips of paper sticking out everywhere...it's one of my favorite things and something I can't wait to give to Abigail. Or at least inspire her to do as well. The quote above will be added shortly. And while I have too many to name that are already listed there, one of my favorites is:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. "

And just because I can't be that serious all the time, a close second is:

"Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!"

Makes me smile every single time.

AbbyDangerous

I cannot cannot cannot believe how quickly time flies. I remember as a kid thinking that it was FOREVER until Christmas came and the months of summer vacation seemed endless. Even the idea of an entire school year seemed insurmountable. Yet here we are at the close of another year, MY SIXTH YEAR (holy cow), and it feels like it just began. I guess time has always gone by quickly. I mean, High School seemed like a blur and we are now in the throes of planning our ten year reunion (yikes.) But I think once you have a baby time goes by in like, warp speed.

My sweet baby girl has hit a growth spurt. She has nine teeth (and is working on a few more judging from the fist-eating going on) and is suddenly Miss Independent. Her favorite word is "No!" and has recently learned "Mine!" much to the chagrin of anyone who would dare try and remove something from her super-human death grip. I have prayed for her to be bold and strong but never imagined I'd have a full-fledged daredevil on my hands! She is so not afraid of ANYTHING! We took her to the park beside Mema Sue and Papa Buster's house last week and she went down the little baby slide BY HERSELF. So Daddy decided maybe she'd like to try the BIG slide. I was very nervous but here comes my sweet baby girl barreling down that tube grinning to beat the band. She did it two or three times alone, once with Daddy, once with Mommy laughing the whole time. Tuesday night when Mommy felt the WORST...fever and all...Daddy and MeMa took her back to the big girl slide. When asked if she wanted to try it herself, Abby's Daddy let her climb up those big steps and get to the top just knowing she'd sit down on that cute little hiney and barrel down. Not AbbyDangerous. No sirree. She threw her hands down and came down that slide HEAD FIRST!!! Those big eyes got a little bigger I think but she did it!

We spent some time this weekend at my Mom and Dad's and the P-O-O-L (which was fffffrrrrreeezzzing). Abby was a little timid on Saturday content to sit on the first step and splash away. By yesterday afternoon she was swimming all around and her favorite game was to be held by her fingers and "dropped" in the pool to about chest level and quickly raised back up again. Laughing the whole time.

Yeah, time totally goes by too fast. Where is my precious sleeping baby girl? Where are those newborn cries? Oh how I miss holding that bundled baby with the peach fuzz hair against my face. But I wouldn't trade one second of my AbbyDangerous seeing her grow and learn new things every day. Being fearless and brave. And hearing her say "Whe Mama?" with those chubby hands raised? Or hearing "Bye Bye Mama. I dooo." Oh, how I love you too, baby girl. My sweet Abby. Dangerous or no.

The Battle

On January 1st I joined a group on Beth Moore's blog called the "Siesta Scripture Memory Team" (or something close to that anyway). It's a group of women (and maybe a couple husbands thrown in there) who committed to learn one scripture every 2 weeks, on the 1st and the 15th of every month, for the entire year. One verse in 2 weeks??? Piece-a-cake!! Ummm...not so much. It is HARD. And I have a crazy good memory for stuff like this. I can barely remember people's names but song lyrics and movie lines and things like that just come naturally to me. So I thought this little challenge would be quite easy.

Well it's not. And it's because of The Battle. The battle that seems to rage in me ALL of the time. The battle between what I WANT to do and what I KNOW I SHOULD do. It sometimes is a no brainer: read or give Abby a bath? Sometimes it's a hard choice: dessert or no dessert? Sometimes it's begrudging a choice already made for me: go to work or stay in bed ( REALLY hate that one). But with this memory challenge it's more like "Memorize scripture or do the other trillion things on my plate today?" And since I'm a world-class-procrastinator I am ALWAYS waiting until say the 29th and then the 13th to START memorizing my verse. I usually can do it, amazingly enough, but it totally defeats the purpose. The idea of this challenge was to have the word "living and active" in me. And it is. But I don't want it halfway. I want to know my verse by day 3 and then be able to walk it and live it and have it in my heart NOT just in my head by the time to choose a new one. I didn't memorize my verse from the 1st of this month AND I PURPOSELY PICKED AN EASY ONE!!!!! So today I chose a new one and am resigning to learn both of them in two weeks.

I know I'm not alone in my battle. I know every woman on the planet suffers with learning the balancing act of being wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, WOMAN. Add in there "Servant of the Most High God" and you've got yourself some insane responsibilities. But they're ones that I love and shoulder with gratitude and hopefully grace. (I also have an UNBELIEVABLE accountability partner who offers me support and grace and whom I know this does not come easy for either. Love you so much, Meliss!)

Yes, I am fighting this battle, but I already know that I am "more than a conqueror" through Christ Jesus. And his word IS living and active in me. Even if it's working its way down from my head to my heart.

My TWO verses to learn this time are:
1. (May 1) :
Romans 8:32 NLT
Since he did not spare even his own son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?

2. May 15:
Psalm 73:25-26 NIV
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Bummer

The next two months are absolutely insane for us. Between birthdays (Happy Birthday to Crystal today!!!), Mother's Day, anniversaries (four years baby!), school ending and all that that entails, I had found a small little nook of time on Wednesday June 3 to fulfill a childhood dream. Accompanying me were to be 7 other girls who, with me, would scream their heads off and sing along to the songs of our youth and be reminded that first loves never die. That's right. I was going to the New Kids On The Block concert. The NKOTB. In other words, my one-time-true-love Jordan Knight and his friends. But alas, yesterday I received disheartening news by the cold, unrelenting radio when they announced the concert in Raleigh was CANCELLED!!!! Oh the humanity! They only cancelled 3 or 4 shows of their summer tour and OF COURSE ours was one of them. Such a bummer. I'm still holding on to hope that they will reschedule and come back to see us. That my neon and stone-washed denim days can be relived and I can be reminded that I do, in fact, have "The Right Stuff." Until then, I'll be "Hangin' Tough".... And I'm so corny I can barely stand myself right now. HA!

Come on girls, you know you loved them too. What was your favorite song? Did anybody have the comforter set? Do any of you STILL have your doll? 'Fess up!!!!

Mother's Day

I never need a day to celebrate my Mom. We have always been super close. I'm both a "daddy's girl" AND a "Momma's Girl." Thank the Lord I've never had to choose one way over the other. My mom was 20 when I was born. She laughs and tells people we grew up together. Which we totally did...which means my childhood was wonderful. She started cosmetology school the same day I started Kindergarten. She would take me to school with her and let me color in my Barbie coloring books at a manicure station while she worked. She once used me as a "model" for a test. She spiral-permed my hair that was down TO MY WAIST. It took like, 4 hours but I was a trooper. Loved getting the beauty treatment but more so, I loved the attention! Mom was so girly and loved that I was too. There wasn't a sequin, sparkle or ribbon that was wasted on me. I started doing pageants when I was 3 and loved more than anything when she would do my makeup and tell me I was "doing better than the big girls." They all sputtered and blinked when she'd do their mascara. But not me. I loved every second of it. Even shining my white patent-leather shoes with 409 and a paper towel! Ha! I so loved seeing her beaming in the audience pushing the corners of her mouth up with her fingers reminding me to smile or seeing her mouth every word to my song during talent. A girl's biggest cheerleader for sure.

If she wasn't helping me with some beauty treatment (yellow and pink sponge rollers come to mind...) she was talking about the Lord (to me at 2 years old: "Erica, do you want the Holy Spirit? Do you want Jesus in your heart?") or reading me a Bible story. My favorite was Daniel. She always says that before she could ever get to the end I would interrupt her, grinning from ear to ear, so excited to say "But the Lions did not HURT Daniel!!!" Even then I was in awe of God's grace and provision. A trait I'm most proud of and one that I undoubtedly owe to her.

There are a million stories I could tell about her. Sweet ones, funny ones. Like the time I sprained my ankle and she took me home before we went to the hospital so she could change clothes because she said "you get treated better at the hospital if you look nice." So she came to the car in a **BEDAZZLED** sweater with a gi-normous beaded butterfly on the front and her best Estee Lauder make up on. So hilarious. There are way too many to tell. So although I don't need "Mother's Day" to know how blessed I am it does make me appreciate her in a completely different way now. Because in 20 years or so when I am being celebrated on Mother's Day, I pray that Abigail Mackenzie thinks half of me what I think of my gorgeous, Godly, determined, tender-hearted, loyal, totally wonderful mother. I wanna be like you when I grow up!

I love you Mom. You really are my best friend. Hey gir-fren...Wanna go shoppin'?