The Battle

On January 1st I joined a group on Beth Moore's blog called the "Siesta Scripture Memory Team" (or something close to that anyway). It's a group of women (and maybe a couple husbands thrown in there) who committed to learn one scripture every 2 weeks, on the 1st and the 15th of every month, for the entire year. One verse in 2 weeks??? Piece-a-cake!! Ummm...not so much. It is HARD. And I have a crazy good memory for stuff like this. I can barely remember people's names but song lyrics and movie lines and things like that just come naturally to me. So I thought this little challenge would be quite easy.

Well it's not. And it's because of The Battle. The battle that seems to rage in me ALL of the time. The battle between what I WANT to do and what I KNOW I SHOULD do. It sometimes is a no brainer: read or give Abby a bath? Sometimes it's a hard choice: dessert or no dessert? Sometimes it's begrudging a choice already made for me: go to work or stay in bed ( REALLY hate that one). But with this memory challenge it's more like "Memorize scripture or do the other trillion things on my plate today?" And since I'm a world-class-procrastinator I am ALWAYS waiting until say the 29th and then the 13th to START memorizing my verse. I usually can do it, amazingly enough, but it totally defeats the purpose. The idea of this challenge was to have the word "living and active" in me. And it is. But I don't want it halfway. I want to know my verse by day 3 and then be able to walk it and live it and have it in my heart NOT just in my head by the time to choose a new one. I didn't memorize my verse from the 1st of this month AND I PURPOSELY PICKED AN EASY ONE!!!!! So today I chose a new one and am resigning to learn both of them in two weeks.

I know I'm not alone in my battle. I know every woman on the planet suffers with learning the balancing act of being wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, WOMAN. Add in there "Servant of the Most High God" and you've got yourself some insane responsibilities. But they're ones that I love and shoulder with gratitude and hopefully grace. (I also have an UNBELIEVABLE accountability partner who offers me support and grace and whom I know this does not come easy for either. Love you so much, Meliss!)

Yes, I am fighting this battle, but I already know that I am "more than a conqueror" through Christ Jesus. And his word IS living and active in me. Even if it's working its way down from my head to my heart.

My TWO verses to learn this time are:
1. (May 1) :
Romans 8:32 NLT
Since he did not spare even his own son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?

2. May 15:
Psalm 73:25-26 NIV
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.